Bird Droppings March 19, 2012
Seeking that one moment midst the many moments in life
“Life isn't a matter of milestones, but moments.” Rose Kennedy
In a world filled with near misses everyone seems to be always seeking that one big one that perfect moment and lets close ones pass by unnoticed. I was thinking as I started this morning of my past life experiences in Loss Control Management which I was directly involved with for nearly 25 years as I worked in designing and publishing materials for Safety and Loss Control Management consulting companies. Several times in my father’s career in Safety and Loss Control he did research on accident ratios situating and comparing incidents those inconsequential moments versus those major losses and or life threatening accidents. As I read rose Kennedy’s statement his rational hit me. In his calculations covering millions of incidents there would be one major loss for about every ten thousand incidents. However as I thought and recalled it was not by looking at major losses you could predict accurately but by looking at the flow of incidents leading to that major loss. Life is not always as Rose Kennedy states about that one milestone but it is about the ten thousand moments leading to.
“The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.” James Allen
“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.” Dag Hammerskjold
We need to look as we go in life and see the pieces as they fall in place. While we may not be able to view in its entirety we may not see the frame as Hammerskjold states we are definitely a part of all in that picture. Sadly out in the real world many people will buy a frame then look for the filling. I may never find the right frame myself for all that it is to contain might need more of a file cabinet.
“No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.” Francois Muriac
“It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.” Anthony Robbins
I am always amused by self- help gurus who can’t take their own advice and or really do not practice what they preach enough said about self- help guru’s. But occasionally I do like words used and ideas thoughts as I look back on my first thought this morning.
“Life isn't a matter of milestones, but moments.” Rose Kennedy
I mentioned how my father built his research on looking at the incidents, the moments in order to predict the major losses and or milestones putting this in a positive view. What if we paid more attention along the way would not predicting that milestone, encroachment or timing be more likely and in building for the next milestone. Perhaps sitting in an IEP the other day made me think in this manner and lead me to this point.
“To meet my goals, I couldn't let up when I was playing tennis.” Tracy Austin
“If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” Yogi Berra
I am sitting here wondering as I recall comments from the meeting the other day. An IEP committee sets goals for a student those being short term and long term. In this particular instant I was seeing something others did not. I was looking at moments and not milestones. This young man was missing moments and attaining milestones, but all those moments or pieces that were significant in such things as friends, associations and social interaction. Many years ago I recall my father telling the story of a young man he worked with, a brilliant young man who at that time had the highest score ever achieved in the entrance exam to Albright College ;located in Reading Pennsylvania. Meanwhile he also had the lowest score on social interactions. He had literally lived at home all his life going to school and home. School was easy he made straight A’s literally in everything but PE which he refused to do. Amazing discussing Einstein’s theory on one hand and not wanting in interact socially on the other. My dad knowing the young man chose to assist him in getting into college by teaching him to fit in. He graduated valedictorian of his class with a straight A grade point average. Although still exceedingly shy and withdrawn from society he focused on research and eventually became a leading researcher for the US Navy in tactile nuclear submarines.
“I realized that I am missing something that everybody else has-emotional complexity-and I have replaced it with intellectual complexity. I obtain great satisfaction out of using my intellect. I like to figure things out and solve problems. This really turns me on. When I observe emotional complexity in others, it is sort of a rhythm that goes on between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I often observe this on airplanes. Sometimes I get to sit next to them. It is similar to observing beings from another planet. The relationship is what motivates them; but for me, it is figuring out how to design something, such as figuring out better ways to treat autism. I use my mind to solve problems and invent things. I get a tremendous satisfaction from inventing things and doing innovative research.” Dr. Temple Grantin, in an interview February 1, 1996 with Dr. Stephen Edelson
Dr. Grantin is autistic and interestingly enough a leading international expert in autism and in her specialty Animal Science specifically in livestock handling. I highly recommend Dr. Grantin’s books if you have any interest in teaching and working with Exceptional Education. But going back to Rose Kennedy’s thought and why she might have said this Rose was the parent of a mentally impaired child, she saw firsthand issues many parents only read about and many some never consider. Rose also lost three sons long before their time, two to assassin’s bullets and one in World War II.
“A child miseducated is a child lost.” John F. Kennedy
I was thinking as I started earlier of about this amazing lady who outlived her sons Joseph, John and Robert and who raised a child who had difficulty in school. Her sons set milestones as a president of the United States and an Attorney General yet as a mother it was the moments that were significant.
“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain.” John F. Kennedy
By gathering the moments we can introspect, reflect, build and even change our goals.
“Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, “because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.” John F. Kennedy
It was a mother gathering moments perhaps a teacher designing and writing goals that are realistic and yet challenging with an exceptional student in an IEP. It is seeing pieces rather than the whole and it is caring.
“Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy was truly an inspiring woman. What she gave to this country is immeasurable. As a mother she nurtured, stimulated and challenged nine children -among them our 35th President, John F. Kennedy, and two U.S. Senators, Robert F. Kennedy and Edward M. Kennedy… The Tribute to Motherhood Award was presented to Mrs. Kennedy through her son, Senator Edward Kennedy in April, 1990, at her 100th birthday party.” A biography, http://www.wic.org/bio/rkennedy.htm
Moments not milestones use the moments to measure your life. Pondering a thought and wondering about which direction to go as I think back to a wonderful weekend with family and working in the yard. Please keep all in harm’s way on your minds and in your hearts and always give thanks.