This is a place to share laughs and to heal body and soul.
Latest Activity: 22 hours ago
Started by Michael Johnson Jan 1, 2020.
Big ol Buzzard sitting on a fence, watchin them chickens play He's sitting with his best friend ol' Chicken Hawk, Chicken Hawk jump up and say, " Why don't we invite us a chicken home for supper…Continue
Started by Michael Johnson Dec 19, 2019.
So, cleaning woman Clara Clifford discovered some clean copper clappers or clangers were copped from a closet by Cleveland's Claude Cooper the kleptomaniac.Continue
Ordering Pizza in 2022
ME: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
ME: Did I call the wrong number? GOOGLE: No sir Google bought Pizza Hut last month. ME: Okay. I would like to order pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want the usual sir?
ME: My usual? Do you know me?
GOOGLE: According to our ID call data sheet, the last 12 times you called, you ordered extra - a large pizza with three cheeseses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
ME: Great! Here's what I'll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest this time you order ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole grain gluten-free thin crust?
ME: What? I don't want vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good sir.
ME: How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we've compared your home phone number to your medical records. We have a result of your blood tests in the last 7 years.
ME: Ok but I don't want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I'm already on meds for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you haven't taken your meds regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 Anti-Cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
ME: I bought more from another pharmacy.
GOOGLE: This does not show in your credit card statement.
ME: I paid cash.
GOOGLE: But you didn't withdraw enough money according to your bank statement.
ME: I have other sources of money.
GOOGLE: This doesn't show your latest tax returns unless you bought them with an undeclared source of income, which is against the law!
ME: What the hell!
GOOGLE: Sorry sir, we only use such information with the only intention to help you.
ME: Enough already! I'm sick to death with Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all others. Going to an island without internet, tv where there is no phone service and no one to watch or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. Expired 6 weeks ago...
So friends, welcome to the future.
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